Archive for the ‘news’ category

On Delivering the News of Acquisition

2010.07.01

This is how you announce your company’s acquisition.

…and notify your staff:

From: Matt Rutledge (CEO – Woot.com)
To: All Woot Employees
Subject: Woot and Amazon

[…]

Other than that, we plan to continue to run Woot the way we have always run Woot – with a wall of ideas and a dartboard. From a practical point of view, it will be as if we are simply adding one person to the organizational hierarchy, except that one person will just happen to be a billion-dollar company that could buy and sell each and every one of you like you were office furniture. Nevertheless, don’t worry that our culture will suddenly take a leap forward and become cutting-edge. We’re still going to be the same old bottom-feeders our customers and readers have come to know and love, and each and every one of their pre-written insult macros will still be just as valid in a week, two weeks, or even next year. For Woot, our vision remains the same: somehow earning a living on snarky commentary and junk.

How the Orbital Mind-Control Lasers Work

2009.07.31

You may have missed the recent announcement by researchers at the FLASH facility in Hamburg, Germany nibbling at Star Trek’s transparent aluminum tech, but even if you didn’t, did you consider the full implications? Luckily, ZPi examines the theoretical basis for concern on AFDB efficacy and generally allays them by enumerating the drawbacks of utilizing the published technique.

There is a misconception among novice paranoids that the so-called “mind-control lasers” control minds directly from their locations in orbit. In reality, these lasers only facilitate conventional psychotronic mind-control coming from either orbiting psychotrons or ground-based stations. But how do the lasers do this?

A recent experiment leaked to the public via Nature Physics — presumably as part of the continuing strategy of conditioning orthonoids to accept a more conspicuous New World Order, as well as morale-disrupting propaganda aimed at paranoids — revealed the shocking truth about how these lasers work — they turn aluminum foil transparent

via Zapato Productions intradimensional

See also: MindGuard

ZOMG!!! H1N1 ⇢ H1Z1

2009.05.05

EU quarantines London in flu panic

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in London due to mutation of the H1N1 virus into  new strain: H1Z1

[…]

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Recommended resources:

George Carlin: 1938–2008

2008.06.22

Well, shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

:(

update: George Carlin was revealed to be Where’s George’s celebrity user.

update: Very nice in-depth (last?) interview with George by Pyschology Today shortly before his death.

The Big Picture

2008.06.18

Balinese royal funeral bull sarcophagus ablaze

The Boston Globe’s, The Big Picture, features one news story or theme per day told in a set of stunning high quality photos.  Terrific photojournalism.